18 janeiro 2010

preocupar

É comum eu me preocupar. Porque na verdade mesmo, assim, na lata, existem duas preocupações e a gente oscila sobre elas: "estar ou não estar." Pode ser metáfora, mas não é tanto, ou é quase nada. Ou a gente está e se faz presente e cuida da gente e dos outros e toma cuidado com o que faz e se esforça pra fazer sempre diferente, não entediar ninguém, se arrumar pra estar bem, bonito, ou pelo menos apresentável, se divertir, rir, aprender coisas e ensinar coisas, estar pronto pra ouvir desaforos e dizer coisas bonitas e vice versa, ou simplesmente não está, se faz pela ausência, se tranca em casa, de preferência no quarto, faz todos sentirem saudades e se enjoarem entre si, correndo o risco de que isso nada venha a acontecer e você seja esquecido, fica desleixado e deixa a barba crescer, preferer ir pro bar quase sozinho e ver um futebol, jogar poker sozinho, compor pra si e andar na rua a esmo, errar mesmo - errante - com um livro no braço e óculos pra dar a impressão de que não quer ser perturbado.
É isso, escolhe, todos temos que o fazer. É o mais difícil, por isso digo que não tem como não se preocupar.

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